Pivot & Shift
“May we live in interesting times!” This has never been more apropos than now, today, in this moment.
I recently had an experience that was shocking, to say the least, and I was asked to share it as it may help shed some much needed LIGHT on our perceptions. Especially about what we may ‘attract’ as experiences.
Yes, we are co-creators in every sense of the word. AND, we have been hijacked, coopted to ensure we are unable to be effectual in most areas of our lives, for a very long time. Even with this as the ‘lay of the land’ there are those of us who chose to come here, into this timeline and help. We agreed to be put into the most heinous of life experiences, knowing full well we would be blank slated when we came in and would struggle to regain any sense of who we are, why we are here and what we are to do once we began our process of awakening.
I have found that one of the most powerful keys to regaining my personal sovereignty is to stay positive. I know, I know, we’ve been hearing this for years and what does that really mean? Pretend in the face of darkness that it isn’t there? Not likely.
But, we can make a conscious choice to look for, focus on and take away the most uplifting aspects of the experience because within every single one of them, there is a positive element, if you are willing and have the courage to look for it.
I say this from personal experience. I recently was invited to a conference that that was themed about healing from Morgellons. Although I wasn’t really sure if I am affected, I really wanted to meet the conference organizer as we had connected on Facebook and had several private messages back and forth as well as a number of telephone conversations. I was so excited as she seemed to be on the same path as I am, and had healed herself from the ravages of this condition. She even put together several elements she herself had used in her healing journey and released to the world an energy healing protocol. I thought I had found my ‘tribe’. Aren’t we all looking to make connection with others of like mind?
It was a small group, about 10 of us altogether. We travelled to a hotel, where we had made reservations to stay for 3 nights and were eager to be together as a group. Most of the participants in the conference had been healing from Morgellons and through their contact on Facebook knew each other. I and one other were rather new to this group, and as we learned as time went on, were the ‘outsiders’.
We had a group dinner after the conference and I found myself amongst the people I had come to know after 3 days, and boy was I uncomfortable. I was about jumping out of my skin uncomfortable. I didn’t know why and almost just dismissed it. And when I left with my ‘roomie’ whom I also had just met and we compared notes, we came to discover that not only was the conference organizer going out to ‘smoke’ every half an hour throughout the conference, just about every other person at the table also went out to ‘smoke’. That was enough to make me feel the outsider as I do not smoke; then I was invited back to the conference leader’s room to smell the use of weed and observe another member come in asking for a ‘pipe’ as she was obviously very nervous and jittery.
I write some of the details of the weekend to share perspective. I was clear as my own inner guidance let me know that the purpose was not to focus on the negative but to find the positives and let the rest be. What others are doing on their own personal journey is not my concern. We are all where we need to be until we make better choices for ourselves, and that takes a tremendous amount of courage.
I was horrified to find out and see for myself that the organizer of this conference was herself indulging in the abuse of substances (and had claimed throughout her healing journey she had abused crack cocaine) which was a far cry from what was presented on Facebook. In addition she was forcing ‘healing and the casting out of demons’ on us when she had not been given permission to do so.
So what did I get out of being at this conference? Had I ‘attracted’ this experience with these people because I had done something wrong? No, not at all. I was given the choice on where to focus my attention in this entire weekend. I met a woman with whom I shared the ride to the conference and was my ‘roomie’ at the conference. She and I bonded and will be a part of my life from now on. We were able to compare notes with each other and see past the incongruences between the material presented (I actually got some pivotal answers to questions I had about my own healing journey – and that was certainly a blessing) and the actions and behaviors of those who had journeyed to this conference along with the conference organizer.
I was able to bring my camera equipment and practice taking portraits of the women who attended which I needed to submit for my coursework through The New York Institute of Photography in the unit on Portraits. That was most certainly a blessing for me as I had been unable to put up my equipment before then and take a portrait in artificial light as is the assignment.
I also knew from my inner guidance that I had to have the courage to speak truth. I had gone back to my room after the dinner and before the invitation to go back to the organizer’s room and prayed. I asked for protection and clarity and I knew that I would be asked to speak truth. I didn’t know what that entailed but I knew I was being asked to have courage and trust.
The point of this article is that even when you may find yourself in a situation which is so completely foreign and you question how on earth did I get here, or why on earth did I come to this gathering (in my case) what I know clearly know is, we are all in choice, in every moment. And we can focus on what ‘they’ are doing, or, we can stay true to ourselves, be willing to trust and speak truth or in essence, pivot and shift. This entire experience gave me an opportunity to put into practice and learn first-hand how to take what information, wisdom was for me, and leave the rest, and thus the purpose for writing this article.
PS – For the sake of transparency, I have already written to the conference leader to share with her my observations. Yeah, that too was a part of the process and I didn’t like doing so, but felt prompted to speak truth.
Anita L Kulp
October 15, 2017